With the exception of the writing that goes on in this blog, “Pain and Agony” is the first bit of my writing that I’ve made public on the internet – it was absolutely terrifying.
It’s a weird thing to be scared that someone will read your work and judge it. I don’t expect my writing to be perfect – but to have someone absolutely hate it would be tough to deal with. It’s weird to think that one person, who I may or may not even know, can influence my confidence so greatly.
Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed it. In a couple weeks I’m going to release another snippet, to see how people are enjoying it.
Today is the first time since I started blogging again where I can’t think of anything to write about. My brain is all foggy today; I’m even having trouble working on my story.
Confidence is an interesting topic. I think I’ll stick on that for a bit.
When you’re watching sports analysts talk about athletes that are having trouble playing at their level, you often here that their issue is purely confidence. The ability to know that what you are doing is correct and that you are doing it well is something that is incredibly hard to master. You most often see confidence issues with golfers – especially amateurs. The longer they look over a putt, or stare down the fairway before a drive, the more likely that they’ll make a poor decision. I know for myself, changing drivers is incredibly difficult. I’ve become very confident with my clubs, so superstitious about them that I haven’t changed my irons in over 10 years. The reason is mostly for fear that I won’t be as good with different clubs as I am with my current ones. I recently bought a new driver. Taking it to the driving range is an exercise in patience and will. I don’t hit it as consistently as I hit my old driver. I overthink my swing, I adjust it, I tweak it mid stroke – all things I know better than to do.
The same could be said with writing; I need to stop thinking about it and just do it. Go back to what feels comfortable and let it ride.
It’s a war of attrition with confidence – as soon as you gain a little ground you need to work at keeping it, or you’ll tumble back downwards into self-doubt.
